Tell Me Again All You Know About Hunting Humor

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Quotes tagged as "hunting" Showing i-30 of 176

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They ever say because it'southward such a beautiful brute. In that location you go. I think my female parent is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
― Ellen DeGeneres

"You won't fifty-fifty take your bow? Are you lot planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, so?"
"I've a knife in my boot," she said, so wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands."
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether yous are at the right or wrong end of the gun."
― P.M. Wodehouse, The Adventures of Sally

"The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions."
― Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Know something? I'd lay even odds that between the people following us and the people hunting u.s., we've go this metropolis'southward principle means of employment. Tal Verrar's unabridged economy is now based on fucking with us."
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Ruby Skies

"1 saw a bird dying, shot by a human being. Information technology was flying with rhythmic trounce and beautifully, with such liberty and lack of fright. And the gun shattered it; it fell to the earth and all the life had gone out of it. A dog fetched it, and the man nerveless other dead birds. He was chattering with his friend and seemed so utterly indifferent. All that he was concerned with was bringing downwardly so many birds, and it was over as far as he was concerned. They are killing all over the world. Those marvellous, great animals of the sea, the whales, are killed by the million, and the tiger and so many other animals are at present condign endangered species. Man is the only animal that is to be dreaded."
― Jiddu Krishnamurti, Krishnamurti to Himself: His Last Periodical

"Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians--except for the occasional mountain lion steak."
― Ted Nugent

"Donegan Blight and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it'southward sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, End Monster Hunting."
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

"Hunting and fishing involve killing animals with devices (such as guns) for which the animals have not evolved natural defenses. No beast on earth has adequate defence against a human being armed with a gun, a bow and arrow, a trap that can maim, a snare that tin can strangle, or a fishing lure designed for the sole purpose of fooling fish into thinking they have establish something to eat"
― Marc Bekoff, Animals Matter: A Biologist Explains Why We Should Treat Animals with Compassion and Respect

"I do non like the killers, and the killing bravely and well crap. I practise not similar the bully boys, the Teddy Roosevelt's, the Hemingways, the Ruarks. They are merely slightly more sophisticated versions of the New Jersey file clerks who swarm into the Adirondacks in the fall, in reddish cap, bristles stubble and taut hero's grin, talking out of the side of their mouths, exuding fumes of bourbon, come to slay the ferocious white-tailed deer. It is the search for balls. A homo should have ane adventure to bring something down. He should have his shot at something, a shining running something, and see it come up a-tumbling downwards, all mucus and steaming blood stench and gouted excrement, the eyes going dull during the terminal muscle spasms. And if he is, in all parts and purposes, a man, he will file that away equally a office of his process of growth and life and eventual expiry. And if he is perpetually, hopelessly a boy, he will lust to go exercise it again, with a bigger beast."
― John D. MacDonald, A Deadly Shade of Aureate

"Sure, some find gunning downward unsuspecting, innocent animals to be a real hoot. I hateful, for Christ sake, they mantle the decapitated, formaldehyde-stuffed heads on the wall. Then, of course, there are the people who enjoy putting sunglasses or hats on it, fifty-fifty putting a blowout in its mouth every bit if information technology were an avid party animal. If it had any hands, there would surely be a plastic loving cup total of cheap beer in it, also. Nosotros tin can't forget that it would exist named some horrendous name, such every bit Pecker or Frank, something and so plain, ordinary, and down-correct ridiculous that makes me want to bitch-slap the perpetrators. "
― Chase Brooks

"Wild fauna, we are constantly told, would run loose across our towns and cities were information technology not for the sport hunters to control their population, as birds would blanket the skies without the culling services of Ducks Unlimited and other groups. Nevertheless here they are breeding wild animals, yr subsequently twelvemonth replenishing the stock, all for the sole purpose of selling and killing them, deer and bears and elephants then many products existence readied for the marketplace. Animals such as deer, we are told, accept no predators in many areas, and therefore need systematic culling. Nevertheless when attempts are made to reintroduce natural predators such equally wolves and coyotes into these very areas, sport hunters themselves are the first to resist information technology. Weaker animals in the wild, we hear, volition just die miserable deaths by starvation and exposure without sport hunters to control their population. Yet it's the bigger, stronger animals they're killing and wounding--the very opposite of natural selection--oft with bows and pistols that simply compound and prolong the victim'south suffering."
― Matthew Scully, Dominion: The Ability of Homo, the Suffering of Animals, and the Call to Mercy

"Hi! handsome hunting man
Fire your piffling gun.
Blindside! Now the brute
is dead and dumb and done.
Nevermore to peep once more, creep again, leap again,
Eat or sleep or drink again. Oh, what fun!"
― Walter de la Mare, Rhymes and Verses: Collected Poems for Immature People

"In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a association fellow. You cannot intentionally impairment that werewolf's chosen mate. You are non, notwithstanding, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation.
Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he 'd been engaged to Jolene. He'd had several hunting "accidents" while visiting the McClaine subcontract, even though he didn't hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm—twice. Too, a running chainsaw mysteriously barbarous on him from a hayloft.
He would never get that pinkie toe back."
― Molly Harper, Overnice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

"Esca tossed the slender papyrus coil onto the cot, and prepare his own hands over Marcus's. "I have not served the Centurion because I was his slave," he said, dropping unconsciously into the speech of his ain people. "I have served Marcus, and information technology was not slave-service...my stomach will be glad when we start on this hunting trail."
― Rosemary Sutcliff, The Eagle of the 9th

"People never lie then much as after a chase, during a war, or before an election."
― Otto von Bismarck

" 'Constitute the sheep too easy to impale?' I ask. 'Where'd y'all get the weapon?'

'Born with them.' His fingernails are bloody."
― Pierce Brown, Ruddy Rising

"For the states hunting wasn't a sport. It was a fashion to be intimate with nature, that intimacy providing us with wild unprocessed food gratis from pesticides and hormones and with the bonus of having been produced without the addition of great quantities of fossil fuel. In improver, hunting provided us with an ever scarcer relationship in a world of cities, mill farms, and agribusiness, directly responsibility for taking the lives that sustained u.s.. Lives that fifty-fifty vegans indirectly take every bit the growing and harvesting of organic produce kills deer, birds, snakes, rodents, and insects. We lived close to the animals we ate. We knew their habits and that noesis deepened our cheers to them and the land that fabricated them."
― Ted Kerasote, Merle'due south Door: Lessons from a Freethinking Dog

"(On Businesswoman von Blixen:)

Vi feet of affable Swede and, to my knowledge, the toughest, most durable White Hunter always to snicker at the fanfare of safari or to shoot a charging buffalo between the eyes while debating whether his sundown drink will be gin or whisky."
― Beryl Markham, West with the Night

"I suppose if there were a part of the world in which mastodon still lived, somebody would design a new gun, and men, in their eternal impudence, would hunt mastodon as they now hunt elephant. Impudence seems to exist the give-and-take. At to the lowest degree David and Goliath were of the aforementioned species, but, to an elephant, a human tin only be a midge with a deathly sting."
― Beryl Markham, West with the Dark

"Since well before the Kung's engine dissonance first penetrated the wood, a conversation of sorts has been unfolding in this lonesome hollow. It is not a language like Russian or Chinese just it is a linguistic communication notwithstanding, and it is older than the wood. The crows speak information technology; the dog speaks it; the tiger speaks information technology, and so do the men--some more fluently than others."
― John Vaillant, The Tiger: A True Story of Vengeance and Survival

"I take this night begun reading a stupid, shitty book by Kerouac chosen Big Sur, and I would give a ball to wake up tomorrow on some empty ridge with a herd of beatniks grazing in the clearing about 200 yards below the house. And and so to squat with the big boomer and feel it on my shoulder with the odor of grease and powder and, subsequently, a little blood."
― Hunter Due south. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

"You tin't be a keen homo being when you savour killing innocent and helpless animals with a gun just for fun."
― Debasish Mridha

"When I went into the business organization, I sabbatum down and figured that I was indeed one of fortune'south children. Merely think. In that location were 20 million buffalo, each worth at least $iii -- $sixty million. At the very exterior, cartridges cost 25 cents each, then every time I fired one I got my investment back twelve times over. I could kill a hundred a twenty-four hours.... That would be $vi,000 a calendar month -- or three times what was paid, it seems to me, the President of the United States. Was I non lucky that I discovered this quick and easy way to fortune? I thought I was."
― Frank Mayer, Gun Rites

"Was there any more repellent sight, Harriet wondered, than a silly, self-centred, greedy woman clad in the skin of a beast so much more splendid than herself?"
― Olivia Manning, The Spoilt City

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